How Facebook is Ruining Relationships

I’m only 19 years old, but even I’m old enough to realize that modern romantic relationships are a bit more complicated than they were, say, 50 years ago. Yes, women are more independent all-around, but that’s not exactly what I’m getting at (after all, independent women can hook up with independent men and make it work). It’s my ever-humble opinion that the Internet has utterly convoluted our perception of romance. It’s molded our relationships into a warped talent show: we’re the goon acts onstage, attempting to entertain as well as impress our audiences.

I can mostly attribute this to Facebook. No doubt, the site is great in many respects. We can connect with old friends, or even make new ones. We can keep in touch with distant family, set up get-togethers, and be kept updated on significant occurrences (newborns, weddings, etc.). Yet, I sometimes think that Facebook, which can clearly serve as a wonderful gadget, is cause for the downfall of relationships. We’ve put too much emphasis on Facebook in correlation to our private existences—how Facebook is projecting our social as well as romantic lives seems to be of great concern, and not just for people as young as I.

I must admit, I’ve fallen prey to this condition. This insecurity. Because that’s what it really is, isn’t it? Why do we feel the need to display our “relationship status” for 700 of our “friends” to view, like, and comment on? As though it’s any of their business, anyways. It’s indisputably futile, and just kind of—dumb, for lack of a better word.

You may be thinking, it’s not that big of a deal. And you’re right, it isn’t—until it is. Until you’re bugging your partner to accept your relationship request, and you’re tallying up the “likes” and comparing the number to your friends’. And it’s not just the relationship statuses that we’re placing too much importance on; it’s Facebook on the whole.

It seems to me that many people have this weird urge to document everything fabulous that ever happens to them. You post a picture of that fabulous sushi you ate, captioning it with a cliché one-liner. You post a picture of that fabulous car your parents bought you. You post a sappy status about how “blessed” you’re feeling, and list all of the fabulous blessings that you’ve received. Just, fabulous.

So how do these superficialities affect our intimate affairs? Well, to be frank, they make us superficial, and superficial is synonymous with (back to that word again) insecure. And it’s well known that insecure people have a rough time sustaining relationships. While you’re too busy incessantly worrying about how you look on Facebook, you’re neglecting everything that’s actually important. Plus, you’re becoming an unpleasant kind of human, one who only cares about how he or she looks through the window of social media.

What I’m proposing is simple: we resolve not to make Facebook a priority. In our relationships, in our friendships, or just in general. This is something we all can work on in the new year, myself included. After all, while we’re busy trying to rack up likes on Facebook (or any other social network, for that matter), life is happening around us. And we’re missing it as we waste precious time on this triviality.