How Facebook is Ruining Relationships

I’m only 19 years old, but even I’m old enough to realize that modern romantic relationships are a bit more complicated than they were, say, 50 years ago. Yes, women are more independent all-around, but that’s not exactly what I’m getting at (after all, independent women can hook up with independent men and make it work). It’s my ever-humble opinion that the Internet has utterly convoluted our perception of romance. It’s molded our relationships into a warped talent show: we’re the goon acts onstage, attempting to entertain as well as impress our audiences.

I can mostly attribute this to Facebook. No doubt, the site is great in many respects. We can connect with old friends, or even make new ones. We can keep in touch with distant family, set up get-togethers, and be kept updated on significant occurrences (newborns, weddings, etc.). Yet, I sometimes think that Facebook, which can clearly serve as a wonderful gadget, is cause for the downfall of relationships. We’ve put too much emphasis on Facebook in correlation to our private existences—how Facebook is projecting our social as well as romantic lives seems to be of great concern, and not just for people as young as I.

I must admit, I’ve fallen prey to this condition. This insecurity. Because that’s what it really is, isn’t it? Why do we feel the need to display our “relationship status” for 700 of our “friends” to view, like, and comment on? As though it’s any of their business, anyways. It’s indisputably futile, and just kind of—dumb, for lack of a better word.

You may be thinking, it’s not that big of a deal. And you’re right, it isn’t—until it is. Until you’re bugging your partner to accept your relationship request, and you’re tallying up the “likes” and comparing the number to your friends’. And it’s not just the relationship statuses that we’re placing too much importance on; it’s Facebook on the whole.

It seems to me that many people have this weird urge to document everything fabulous that ever happens to them. You post a picture of that fabulous sushi you ate, captioning it with a cliché one-liner. You post a picture of that fabulous car your parents bought you. You post a sappy status about how “blessed” you’re feeling, and list all of the fabulous blessings that you’ve received. Just, fabulous.

So how do these superficialities affect our intimate affairs? Well, to be frank, they make us superficial, and superficial is synonymous with (back to that word again) insecure. And it’s well known that insecure people have a rough time sustaining relationships. While you’re too busy incessantly worrying about how you look on Facebook, you’re neglecting everything that’s actually important. Plus, you’re becoming an unpleasant kind of human, one who only cares about how he or she looks through the window of social media.

What I’m proposing is simple: we resolve not to make Facebook a priority. In our relationships, in our friendships, or just in general. This is something we all can work on in the new year, myself included. After all, while we’re busy trying to rack up likes on Facebook (or any other social network, for that matter), life is happening around us. And we’re missing it as we waste precious time on this triviality. 

Being Sexy is All Right

Feminism.

There’s a great power behind the word. It’s a flame lit by women across the globe, getting hotter and growing in size. The arsenal of a woman’s being, the weapon we carry always. Our protection, our security. It’s the woman who’s fighting for an education in the Middle East, the woman who’s testifying against her rapist in court. The Oxford Dictionary defines it simply: “The advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.”

And then there’s the opposing attitude, the one that I almost don’t believe exists, because is there really somebody out there who doesn’t think we’re capable? Who turns a blind eye to the talents and accomplishments and successes of so many women, every day, every hour, throughout all of history? Anti-feminism is mind-boggling, a notion so misaligned that rational people like you and I can’t even begin to process it.

But I think there’s a category of women who are so immersed in the feminist crusade that they muddle the meaning of anti-feminism.

The other day, I watched a YouTube video on the numerous degradations of women that occurred throughout 2013. While I agreed with many of the points (yes, Seth McFarlane’s stunt at the Oscars was more than a little derogatory, but I think he mostly just embarrassed himself), I found myself wholly disagreeing with some of the video’s other examples.

For instance, the video displayed a clip from a sexy Carl’s Jr. commercial featuring Katherine Webb. You’ve probably already seen it, and if you haven’t, feast your eyes: 

There was a crossfire on the Internet, and infuriated “Sexism” protests are still cluttering Google. While most women perceive this to be a disgrace, I believe it to be the opposite. I applaud women who are confident enough to fully own their sexuality. Webb is sexy, not totally because of the way she looks, but the way she exudes it. She’s poised, totally sure of herself, and embracing the fact that she appears in men’s fantasies.

There’s nothing wrong with being sexy. If that were the case, wouldn’t that make the Victoria’s Secret Angels an incessant degradation to the female gender? How about the innumerous cleavage-bearing photos of the well-known role model Marilyn Monroe? What about Elizabeth Taylor—another huge female figure—playing the role of a super seductive Cleopatra? Or even Beyoncé being, well, naughty in the “Naughty Girl” music video?

Women are beautiful. I’m tremendously thankful to be one. We can wear makeup, pretty dresses, red high heels, we can be sexy—and there’s this askew conception that a stimulating woman is symbolic of a retrograde movement.

Of course, there’s a line—and speaking of lines, “Blurred Lines” is a perfect example of a flat-out prejudiced production. In the explicit version, the models in the music video leave zilch to the imagination. That’s just it: leaving some to the imagination, like in Webb’s commercial, is so much sexier. I actually winced when one of the women in “Blurred Lines” danced nude in front of a sign reading “Robin Thicke has a big dick.” Not to mention, Thicke blowing smoke in one of the model’s faces? Yeah, gross.

But tastefully embracing our sexuality isn’t degrading, ladies. Katherine Webb didn’t open her legs and flaunt her special place. She was sexy, yet classy, and believe it or not, those two can complement each other. We’re so blessed to be women, to own gorgeous, curvy bodies. And that’s the thing, we own our bodies. If we want to show the world how sexy we really are (um, extremely!), we shouldn’t be condemned by our own gender.