The semester is drawing to a
(chaotic) close, and I almost can’t believe I’ve come this far. This is only my
third year at CMU, but it is my last. Next semester marks the dawn of a new era
for me: job-searching and the facing of reality.
After
the spring semester is over, will I be forced to grow up fast? Phrasing it as “growing
up” seems a little contradictory. I’m 20 years old, after all. A grown woman.
But I still feel so young inside—I’m not even old enough to order a drink!
I’m
scared of the job hunt; I’m scared of rejection; I’m scared of stepping out of
my warm, cozy apartment into the sometimes chilly real world. And even though
my parents are saying, “No pressure, you can stay at home and work a mundane
job for a year,” I know that’s not in my fate. I’ve worked my butt off to get to
where I am, and my resume is chockfull of amazing editorial experience. Even
still, I have this fear that I won’t be good enough for any job I apply to,
that I simply won’t be able to do it and I’ll crawl home in a tear-soaked
blazer.
But,
trust. Trust is key. Jesus advises not to worry about tomorrow, that today’s
troubles are enough for today. And I have to keep this in mind as time flies
by, as I get rapidly closer to change. And not just small, I’ll-order-something-different-from-BK
kind of change. Serious life change.
It’s
going to be okay.
